Things I’ve learned:
If your wearing something cute the baby is going to throw up on you.
If he's wearing something cute he's going to throw up on both of you.
The doctor and books say your baby is going to sleep a lot, don’t believe them.
When washing bibs close the velcro, it will snag your shirts and make them look worn out.
Timing is important when your baby is pooping, too early you have to change him twice, too late and it’s up his back and in all his clothes.
If your baby is in something where he’s jumping up and down always assume that he is going to be covered in poop.
Baby food is hard to to get out of eyebrows, it’s better to clean it off when it’s wet. Baby rice hardens like cement.
No matter what mood you are in, if your baby smiles at you, it makes your day.
The best time of day is when daddy comes home.
Throw diapers away as soon as you can, or the dog hides them.
A relaxing bath when your trying to get your baby to settle down before bed doesn’t work if your baby thinks baths are for swimming.
Sometimes you just need to talk to your mom.
Johnny jump ups are worth their weight in gold.
Fingernails are hard to cut, best to do it while baby is asleep. Make sure it’s a deep sleep, otherwise he’s gonna wake up and be mad.
If your baby is sick nothing else matters.
Being a mom is the hardest, best job I've ever had.